Sofie
Sofie is a historical fiction character I developed for this art series. I created an essay to give her substance from which to build both the artworks on paper and the corresponding instillation. This is the essay:
Sofie Victoria Bloom (spiritual – victory – cast of iron)
On the Cumberland Plateau it was common to have a large family. I came along September 12, 1936 just a year after Mama had Robbie. Mama was cajun - strong and wiry – she gave birth to eight squirming babies before she had to have her innards taken out. She used to tell us she would send us to Canada if we didn't shut up and there our mouths would freeze shut. Papa was German, an unyielding heavy set man with thick fingers that could take hold of you like death. He kept his fingers immaculate but fought dirty as tar.
I wanted to twist off Robbie's pecker for sneaking into my room so many times but the bastard was strong like Papa. I was thirteen when I pushed Ginny from between my legs. I had never seen blood flow from my crotch – I denied the blood – I denied the baby - I hated Robbie, the sight of him, his stench was foul as mushrooms after a long rain.
I thought the visits would end after that but they didn't. Robbie just pressed himself into places where babies couldn't grow. After a year I up and left. I had heard of Memphis from Jake Looter at a church picnic – he said it was west so I headed west. I met Albert there – he said he could put me up and teach me a trade. I hate men but what was I to do. Women are generally kinder but I couldn't decide if they were stupid or smart or both.
Albert taught me to entertain men all sorts of ways – some tricks were worse than others but I had food and a place to stay. If I earned Albert enough money he would give me stuff that made the noise in my brain go away. That was good. We got on okay for a couple years.
I got pregnant while in Nashville. Albert was furious when I told him I had missed my flow. He fixed me up with a “doctor” who had studied at the Nashville College of Naturopathic Medicine. He gave me tea that would bring my flow back for the price of a trick. A couple days later my body started cramping and I flowed like never before. Every drop was empowering – every cramp a victory.
After that experience I was driven to learn how abortion was done - the kind that wasn't expensive or fancy – to purge the unwelcome, the unasked for. I felt important when the girls came to me for help. I remember Gertrude Pinsky – she was one of my first. I gave her blue cohash tea – she drank twice as much as I told her thinking more was a surer thing. When I visited her she was bleeding from all her openings. She died. Albert beat me harder than usual for that and cast me out.
I headed for New Orleans turning tricks along the way. I visited the old lady purgers to learn what I could. Knowledge is power and power is victory and victory is vindictive. They told me stories of the old days when poor women self treated. One girl came in with a straightened coat hanger hanging from her crotch, others had gotten urinary catheters and died from too much air and infection. They remembered the days of inserting tablets of corrosive potassium permanganate and one told of a 16 year old dieing after douching with a cupful of bleach. I sometimes confided my own story of Gertrude.
Finding a pimp in New Orleans was easy although it held its usual discomforts Frankie was no exception. Some beatings were worse than others – nothing you couldn't cover with powder. Work was steady – rape had no meaning except when a john didn't pay. Force came with the job. No one payed too much attention to drug traffic. Sometimes I would trick for a fix which was good unless Frankie's found out I was shorting him.
Finding opportunity for abortion was not a problem, not since the police crackdown on the medical abortion offices. I still used teas, blue cohash and pennyroyal both work well early on although side effects could be rough. Sometimes I could get sulfa – then came tamoxifen (20mg once a day for four days) and prostaglandin misoprostol which caused abortion in 24 hours. I picked up a set of curettage instruments – a thrill went through me as I felt their cold smoothness. June 23rd 1965 just two days later Frankie discovered them and sprung upon me eyes swelling with blood and venom. A reflection of light gleamed, I felt warm blood fill my cleavage and my stomach heaved.